Where Do I Go From Here?

 I was having one of those “blah” moments with my best friend. Once again we were trying to figure out what the heck we wanted for our lives. I no longer worked with a social services agency, and she was feeling burned out after a few years as an RN. Our whole life we wanted to help people and make a difference in our communities, and just like that it seemed we had no more fight in us.  I felt sick about where my life was heading. How dare I have no more fight in me!?! According to my own standards, I had not even put in my dues. I learned relatively quickly that, as much as I wanted to, I could not save the world single-handedly; but that was no excuse not to play my part. After being drilled on making sure the numbers looked right for state funding I had forgotten why I cared anymore. 

    For reasons of our own we both went into pity party mode. You know the: “life sucks then you die” mentality. We both decided we had no talent or special skills. We had college degrees, but still felt it was a waste of time and money because we no longer had a passion for our chosen fields.

    As much as I wanted someone to comfort me, I did not enjoy the company down misery lane. I did not want to sink back into a hole that I had finally decided not to waste anymore time in. You see, I had come to a point where I had everything I thought I wanted for my life: a career I was actually interested in; ownership of my own car and home; I had married young, and the only debt we had were student loans. It was a hard pill to swallow when, in some fashion, I lost it all. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with my life anymore. I was angry at myself and I was angry at God. I did not understand it then but I was under attack and I was not prepared for battle. It took me some time, some interesting resources and positive people in my life, to acknowledge and accept myself (my true unmasked identity) and discover a new love and understanding of what God meant to me. In this process of self discovery, I got connected with a church and came across some really cool personality tests which helped me point out some of my strengths as well as some things I wanted to improve on. The church encouraged an old yet still relevant idea: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others”.

    Armed with the knowledge of my passions and the causes I would love to volunteer in, I remembered why I cared. During that “blah” moment, my best friend and I concluded that we had a choice: we could stay in pity party mode, or we could press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (phil3:14). We both knew that in order to get anywhere in life we had to start with putting an end to our negative thinking and remembering our self-worth. While working on replacing those old habits of negative thinking, I knew volunteer work would be a great place to start rebuilding a life I never want to take for granted again.

Here are some volunteer organizations I came across during my research:

http://www.ethicalvolunteering.org/

http://www.crossculturalsolutions.org

 http://www.charityguide.org/

http://abroaderview.org/

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.