A Half-year Review Part II

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Picking up  where I left off from last week, here is part II of my 6 month review…

Again, I center most of my intentions for the year around 6 areas or slices of life: Personal, Social, Spiritual, Physical, Professional, and Financial. I’m covering the remaining 5 here and then I’ll see you all again in August!

SOCIAL

Intention: Knock my walls down

As I work on getting more present and aware, I’ve come to really see how much I like to take on the role of the observer, even when it seems I’m being social. One of my talents is that I’m able to hold multiple conversations and still daydream at the same time without missing too much a beat. Social Media helps me do that because I’m used to monitoring several accounts for people and ghosting in their voice while still retaining my own. The issue comes into play in real life situations when I’m trying to develop real connections. When I feel inadequate, or when I feel not enough for a situation, or rather the people that make up a social situation, which I’m embarrassed to say is quite often; I tend to disappear for awhile, so I don’t have to deal with how Not awesome I am on the outside vs the amazing person I am on the inside.

Basically my natural defense mode is to go inside my own head where it’s safe. That results in self-imposed isolation, making me seeming very cold and distant and well… I start wall building.

The 3 main resources that have helped me tremendously in not only identifying these things about myself, but helping me to work through them so that I could …be love has been The Enneagram personality assessment, The Dark Side of Light Chasers by Debbie Ford, and The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown.

SPIRITUAL

Intention: Let Love guide all other slices

I only kept this separate to break down what’s going on here. I no longer believe this to be a separate slice, as I am no longer trying to compartmentalize my relationship with my Higher Power. I realized that was exactly what I was doing, and it took a split with an ex for me to understand that that was what I was doing when I felt “some type of way” about it being done to me.  When I first did this exercise, spirituality and religion held no real distinction so it was easy for me to separate this slice. It looked something like this: Step 1 Go to church on Sunday Step 2 say a prayer at night for the homeless Step 3 Try not to cuss people out throughout the week so no one could question your claim to fame.

However, religion can be tricky and while I don’t identify as solely spiritual but not religious now because I think there is a pivotal role for religion in this society; I think it’s very important to come to your own understanding of the role organized religion plays in your life.  Right now, I’m being led down the path of a seeker but while I seek I already hold certain foundational beliefs one such is that Love seems to be a central theme in many of the major organized religions so I believe love is key. So while I’m working to integrate love, the verb in all I do, I’m seeking to understand that all of what love is which seems to be a life-long journey at least.

PHYSICAL, PROFESSIONAL, and FINANCIAL

I’m grouping these together because they share a common goal. The goal is to try my hand at living in the some of the places I’ve dreamt about as a little girl. There are way more places I’d like to visit, I’ve mentioned before that I’ve wanted to do a volunteer vacation in Africa, but this is something else and this list isn’t as long as the quick visit list. This isn’t about a few days or few weeks pit stop. It’s so much more. I’ll be blogging more on how I’m working on these 3 slices because they are the easiest to measure. It’s much easier to see the intention to move when you’re glancing out the window and it overlooks mountains and hidden valleys rather than a string of Mcmansions (actually some of those developments are kind nice though).  It’s much easier to see the intention to rebrand when you’re passing out new business cards and reciting your new elevator pitch, an much easier to measure the success of the intention to make a certain amount of money, when your bank account shows that you have it filed away in savings.

For now I’ll leave you with these resources: Being more organized helps me be a better professional and I am a fan of the Productive Flourishing Planners method of organizing my work-life.

Also, I am a fan of Make Money Your Honey and I’m excited about this new workbook to help with the process of taking more actionable steps towards financial freedom.

One of the resources I plan to utilize is airbnb and reading the blogs of other traveling location independent entrepreneurs helps a lot. I found this post about how to choose a great air bnb a great starting place.

I’ve heard of travel hacking, though I’m still not sure I feel like doing all the research necessary to actually be any good at it. (I have a business to run after all.)

So there you have it, the blog friendly edition of my personal 6 month review!

Until next time…Peace!

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It’s June! Time for A Half-year Review-Part I

A promised, here is a look at the upcoming blog themes for the remainder of the year. June: Awareness, Acceptance and Facing judgment, July: {Blog Hiatus } August: Be The Change interview series, September: A Second wind for the neo Purposepreneur, October: Express Yourself, November: Gratitude and Thanksgiving, December: Connection and Community.

I wasn’t sure how I could cover Awareness, Acceptance and Facing judgment in 2 blog posts but being that this is June and the last month of the 1st half of the year, a half- year review seems perfect. So here goes…

My personal theme for this year is: Go Get It

Sail

I’m not going to lie, sometimes this ride called life feels so exhausting; you really do wish there’s a easy button for you to push. However, reality has shown me that if I wanted change, if I wanted movement, if I wanted breakthrough- it would be an inside-out job…more like a lifestyle. I understand that there will be times for sitting still and simply being present,  and you experience those times even if you don’t like it. But, there are also times when things need to be set in motion so you can position yourself for whatever comes next. It was time for me to move.

It has been scary! I have backed down only to pick myself back up, I’ve hesitated only to say, “nah, I’m just gonna say it, I’m just gonna do that, I’m just going be this” and I throw myself back in the ring.  So far, some of my favorite moves have been… the decision that a social media marketing firm was not the path for me so I began subtly marketing myself specifically as a solo Virtual Marketing Assistant to women Coaches, Speakers, and Authors, and it feels extremely liberating. I formed a joint venture, and together we launched the Love Yourself Love Your Business virtual summit and a new found confidence emerged, (not to mention the start of a new business model). I conducted my 1st Speaking Engagement as a personal development Blogger to a room full of women, and it was empowering.  There is still much work to do, but this time around I’m really just enjoying the journey.

My word for the year is: Breakthrough

I had to look the word up because I wasn’t sure where it came from or what it would look like for me.

A Breakthrough is defined as a sudden, dramatic, and important discovery or development. It’s also an instance of achieving success in a particular sphere or activity.

Synonyms include: advance, development, step forward, success, improvement.

I haven’t felt any suddenness or dramatization of anything in particular, but others around me have told me that I’ve changed-for the better; while still there others who ask me if certain things will stay the same. I can’t promise things will remain the same, that’s the funny thing about transformation, change occurs. I constantly experience 1st hand, the whole adage about reason, season, and lifetime encounters. And because “go get it” means acting despite fear in most cases, I’m learning that much of my process towards a breakthrough is surprisingly about self-awareness, self-acceptance, and deciding I’d rather be judged for being true to myself, than hold myself back another minute since doing so never delivered on whatever sense of belonging I was hoping it would provide me.  And yeah, that presents lots of reason and seasonal encounters. We shall see what this looks like more and more as the year unfolds…

As I’ve shared before in previous reviews, I center most of my intentions for the year around 6 areas or slices of life: Personal, Social, Spiritual, Physical, Professional, and Financial. This year my goal setting was done differently, so I’m using the word intention on purpose.

PERSONAL

Intention: To gain more clarity around my personal brand and adjust accordingly.

A good chunk of my personal brand is expressed through this blog, so with that being said…

Blog Hiatus and Special Announcement: The reason I’m going on a blog hiatus in July is because I am converting Asummermoon.com to LynetteDavis.com The blog will still essentially remain a blog which strives to Inspire Action, and Revive Passion however, instead of saying Empower the Inner Child I’m saying Empower Women to Activate their Inner Superheroine. And I am not a ‘how-to’ type of personal development blogger because there isn’t a one-size fits all approach to anything in this life.

I also realized that I was most passionate about empowering women who feel “other”. “Other” is defined differently for each woman. Personally, I’d always felt “other” for being introverted, struggling with codependent behaviors in relationships, being a black woman in America, and a business owner who has to be very mindful of my history with depression and anxiety. Coming out about all of this sparked another happening in the personal slice area of development…

Write 1st nonfiction book: Never thought the 1st book I’d want to publish would be nonfiction but that is what it will be. (I’ve decided to go in a different direction with my poetry.) I am currently and actively working on a book project about mental health issues amongst women in business and have called upon women entrepreneurs, and mental healthcare providers from around the globe to help me out. I’ll be sharing tidbits and interesting findings from my research on Twitter.

I’ll pick up with quick summaries on the other 5 slices plus resources I’ve discovered these past 6 months next Sunday.

If you’ve posted a half-year review online, I’d love to read it so feel free to share in the comments section or a private email if you prefer.

 

Until next time…Peace!

 

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On the Path to A Heroine’s Journey

eyeofthetiger
Today is Memorial Day here in America. It’s a day we’ve come to set aside as a day to honor the men and women who lost their lives as a service to their country.

Today more than anything, I felt even more in tune with the message from the shadow work I’ve been researching and experimenting with. You see, many of the men in my family have served in the military; my younger brother is actually currently on his 3rd deployment.

When I think about the courage and bravery it takes to voluntarily sign over your life to a country of folks who don’t know you, some don’t care about you outside of your uniform, and most won’t ever get the honor of knowing just how beautiful you really are, I feel there is no excuse for not taking a chance on ourselves.

Taking a chance on ourselves looks different for each person, but I believe all of us take a chance on ourselves when we set aside time to get acquainted with our whole selves, including the parts that make us very uncomfortable. When we do that we position ourselves to make mindset shifts. One of my own mindset shifts, was a move from “I am a no good person, unable to love and not worthy of love” to “I am enough and that “enoughness” means that I am both loving and loveable”. And you know what happens when your mindset shifts? You develop new habits, because you want to cultivate this new belief system, and when new habits form, your life literally changes.

Being the heroine of your own story does take courage, and bravery. Though unlike our heroic soldiers in the military, it’s take a lot of “ordinary courage” as Brene Brown, PH.D. puts it, to make for pretty extraordinary living. Ordinary courage is pretty scary because it means letting down our defense systems just enough to walk outside of our self-imposed cages of limitations and embrace our gifts of imperfection- those hidden gifts inside the very qualities we loath so much about ourselves and therefore each other.

If you feel like something is missing, if you are trying decide whether or not the path you’re on isn’t really your own, if you feel unfulfilled and not sure why…don’t worry it’s just your inner superheroine inside ready to burst out onto the scene and take you for a ride of your life…and because you won’t be the only one riding it, your 1st quest should you choose to accept, is to be open to receive guidance and help when you need it.

Until next time…

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Set Yourself Free

caged

I’m not a huge fan of pop music. It feels like it’s an amalgamation of the kind of music that captured and expressed cultural movements. I’ve never felt the heartbeat of society in pop music…more like the music was a diversion *shrugs* However, being that I am a visual learner, I do appreciate the videos that accompany the catchy songs. Every once in awhile, I’ll hear a song that makes me wonder what kind a video could express what the song is trying to say, and every once in awhile, I come across what some would consider controversial videos.

Recently, I watched the video for Elastic Heart by Sia on YouTube. While, I was understanding to why a lot of people were really uncomfortable with the presentation I couldn’t help but notice a pattern of her using the young dancer, Maddie to represent what seems to me like inner-child work interpretation.

The very first thing I thought when watching the video was that it represented the cage of self-imposed limitations, a concept I’m currently reading about.

I saw two aspects of a personality, but my main focus was on the child that wants to behave in ways that may not be socially acceptable, that wants to express herself, that wants to be free and wants full cooperation and willingness to obtain said freedom.

I saw that she could only be free and whole when both aspects of her personality walked out the cage together as one healed and fully integrated soul. Otherwise, we have a bunch of children playing all grown up, those working 9-5s and 5 to 9s just to get by, those heading major corporations, those who are deciding whether or not certain people should have access to education that could actually give them a chance to get out of the systems that are inherently catch-22…all of them yearning to be free.

What I was most curious about was whether the underlying message I interpreted from the video was triggering a reaction to the child still trapped inside our own personal self-imposed imprisonments of the soul.

And if that was the case, would we be willing to let our yearning lead us to living an uncaged life and have us swinging from the chandeliers, (kidding, just kidding I couldn’t help it) or stay put and deal with the constant uncomfortably comfort of the dull stinging grey existence. And if you chose living and freedom, I suppose the next question after that would be… how bad do you want it?

Until next time…Peace!

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Flickr Credit

What’s Holding You Back?

silloutte

{Intro: Heads up, I know most people who draft up content publishing calendars don’t always reveal the theme they’ll be centering their posts on but I decided to go ahead and share it with you.  Basically I can kind of publicly keep myself focused since I’m trying to break my habit of “I’ll write whatever comes to my mind at the moment”  that I’ve somehow carried into my subscriber content for my main business which is not the best idea when trying to be consistent. So yeah, I better shape up! (The next habit to work on…writing posts in enough time to have an editor get to it before I hit publish-one day ya’ll!) Anyhoo…

Let me catch you up. So, January was about mindset and motivation, February was a series on entrepreneurship where I focused on artists, March was “let music be my muse” and I had to write a post inspired by lyrics to a song, (read those again you’ll see the song references), April was about Awareness it was meant to be more light-hearted to prepare for this month…I am going to pretty much be doing reflection posts around the shadow work I’m currently researching and experimenting with. Ultimately the idea is to actually to get to a place of talking about self-compassion, forgiveness, and healing. Ok you’re all caught up! Fin}

We can really be hard on ourselves, almost to the point that sending out S.O.S signals because of our daily life grind feels weak.  Not only weak, but it puts us in a position where we have to convince ourselves that “this is normal” and “push through it” because “everyone has these issues”. So we suppress what we’re really feeling, deny ourselves, and think something is “wrong” with us, because apparently, it’s just our imagination…once again…running away.

And so we carry this mental baggage like it’s a badge of honor,  and then we shun anyone who has the nerve and the guts to wear their hearts on their sleeves. How dare they be vulnerable, and emotional? Who the heck wants to read about the dark side of the moon? They reveal everything we’ve been trying to rid ourselves of and in such a way that triggers thunder bolts and lighting in our hearts. “Unforgivable!” “That is so rude” “I cannot believe they did that…I wouldn’t do that…I am better than, I am more, I am not weak…like them”.

So when we show up to do the work, we are a shell of a person, trying to keep up with what we think would get approval, what we think will get us noticed, and have a chorus of “amens” to whatever we have to say. Because we’re “right” we’ve been practicing being “right” and “good” and “perfect” our whole lives after all, and when we aren’t we hide. We hide behind I don’t care, we hide by shifting the judgments, we hide and keep on grinding covering up our undesirables, hiding the skeletons in closets we long forgot we had…hoping, praying no one discovers what’s on the other side of the door.

And because of that, we hold ourselves back.  We’re not ready to launch because any mistake we could possibly make is unacceptable. We don’t want to put ourselves “out there” because… what if we’re really, truly seen? What if we actually have this success of our dreams and blow it? Or, what if someone actually listens to what we’re not verbally saying, and hear our skeletons rattling? What will they think of us? What if it’s found out that we are not good enough underneath our French manicures and cushy jobs? What if deep down we are everything and everyone we’ve come to judge so harshly? That homeless man, that self-centered teen, that foolish gossip queen, that incompetent neighbor, that weird emo chick…all the things we hate about them, all the things that make us uncomfortable about who they are, all the things we’ve been programmed to deem unworthy, all the characteristics we have sworn never to be- we are capable of being, or have been, and we are ashamed.

And so, we stay in our set place, agree with those who give us peace by justifying our “rightness” and “acceptable”. And we wonder why we can’t move forward in our purpose, why we struggle with authenticity when we’re refusing to listen, we’re refusing to learn and to grow.

Until next time…Peace!

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