I See You

Dear friends in recovery, rediscovery, and/ or simply on the path of wholehearted living.

Maybe you’ve been diagnosed with a mental health disorder, maybe you know something isn’t quite right but you’re not sure what it is, maybe you’re just tired, and yet still, you’re trying and…

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I see you

Out there doing your thing, trying to redeem yourself,  trying to maintain.

I see you struggling day in and day out maneuvering your stride, adjusting and letting go of baggage from old pastimes. Having to dodge character assassination attempts on this new life, and thankfully another chance.

Funny how people fully clothed in their imperfection try to shoot you down for yours. Interested in resurrecting a past self that while you can’t ignore, don’t be fooled, it isn’t the complete story. And you may feel guilty because you’ve played that role too. You might wonder if it’s worth it and if you’re even worthy. You are. You’re not now who you were before. But you were always enough even on your yesterdays and you’re enough even as you stand here all patched up today.

So don’t worry, keep doing you. Keep being true to your journey.  Don’t be afraid to seek out your own truth.

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. It’s downright scary sometimes too! Yeah, you’re going to stumble and yeah you may just fall. But get back up and dust yourself off. Not because you should,  but because you believe deep down that you could and you would…eventually. You already have before. And you can once more.

Listen, I’ve worn similar shoes,  heck sometimes I still wear them because like they say ‘one day at a time,’  and sure enough some days aren’t as bright as some of the others but, some days are even better. And you learn to cherish each moment and even be grateful for the disappointments every once in awhile.

I didn’t want to take up too much of your time. I just wanted you to remind you that you are not alone. I wanted you to know that…

I see you
I get you
I choose light and life too just like you
I’m praying for you
And I love you.

Flickr Photo Credit

Until Next Time…Peace!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

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The ABC Method to Managing Your Mental Health While Running a Business

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So, you’ve…

Filed your “Doing Business As”,

Created a airtight client contract,

And wrote a business plan, right? (One Page Plans are better than No Page Plans 😉 )

You’re feeling on top of the world!!!

These business necessities aren’t just a “break glass in case of emergency” thing that you only think about when there’s a problem.

You thought strategically about how to run your business when you started it. You spent hours studying what makes a business run smoothly. You mapped out how to avoid problems. And devised plans for what to do when a problem rears its ugly head.

But have you thought about making a mental wellness plan?

Let me ask you two questions…

1. Do you know what makes for good mental health? mentalwellnessdef

Good sleep, healthy eating, exercise, meaningful relationships, daily routines, helping others….

2. Are you actively planning how to DO the things listed above?

No one would recommend running a business haphazardly…

Getting in good accounting “whenever you can” & marketing “when the weather is good” & following up “when I feel like it.”

And you shouldn’t run your mental health that way either.

Creating a mental health plan to go alongside your business will help you feel less irritable day-to-day, more in control, & less vulnerable to emotional distractions.

That’s why I wrote The ABC Method to Managing Your Mental Health While Running a Business.

Even if you’re doing work you love & are passionate about, you can find yourself spiraling out of control.

From being a “Yes Woman” to struggling to find a way to meet your needs, you should plan for your mental well-being.

Because while climbing the proverbial ladder to success, you can become absolutely miserable, full of anxiety, & constantly fighting the work/life balance blues.

It’s time to start taking your mental wellness practice just as serious as any other habit or routine you’ve developed to achieve financial success.

Through The ABC Method to Managing Your Mental Health While Running a Business, you’ll learn 3 basic steps that’ll help guide you on your way.

Sign up here for a free PDF of The ABC Method to Managing Your Mental Health While Running a Business.

Until Next Time…Peace!

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

Now that We Have Mental Health Awareness…

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If you don’t already know May is Mental Health Month.  One of my clients reached out and asked if I wanted to participate in a campaign she dubbed #31daystowellness where she asks us to post a picture of ourselves, our family, friends, workout group, etc. engaging in a healthy and productive activity or task that shows we are embracing wellness. (You can read her entire blog post about the call for social media mental health advocacy by clicking here.) While I believe there was an emphasis on showcasing the importance between mind-body connection of mental wellness, my own practice of doing yoga, and walking, (accidentally walked a 5k over the weekend) cleared my inner chatterbox enough for me to realize that I was to really work on self-compassion for the month.

In one of my favorite go-to self-love resources “Madly In Love with Me” for the sake of a clear enough definition we can wrap our heads around: Self-compassion coupled with self-forgiveness is the choice to open your heart and be a loving witness to yourself, without judgment, by sending yourself waves of kindness, understanding, and forgiveness that touch, heal, and transform your imperfections, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and humanness through the presence of your unconditional love.

Really simple, but far from easy. After all, if it were easy we’d all be doing it. If it were easy, Brené Brown, Ph.D. and the other social science researchers she admires and references would not have to write book after book about shame resilience and vulnerability which is a call for…you guessed it, Compassion!

And so when I think about two very common cases of mental health issues, depression and anxiety,( I put those two together because nearly one-half of those diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.) I wonder how much more we could have prevented a case of malaise that spiraled into a deep melancholy and sadness, or kept the changes in our thought patterns, feelings, and behaviors from transforming into a major depressive disorder (MDD) or diagnosable anxiety disorder if we showed ourselves unconditional love and compassion; if we received it from others instead of shame, blame, bullying, discrimination, manipulation, etc.

Is compassion the end all be all? Of course not! I’m well aware that there are way too many factors that contribute to being diagnosed with mental health disorders. However, just like awareness campaigns are helping to fight stigma by exposing more people to hard-cold stats so they could get to a place where they no longer deny that people are hurting, that the suicide rate in 2014 was 13.0 per 100,000 population…activation campaigns are in order too. I know I’m not the only one thinking ok what happens after awareness? How do we create change? What is a starting point for action?  Well, why not start with compassion? But you see it’s hard to give what you do not have. It’s hard to give what you are not empathetic to within yourself.

If you yourself can’t move past your short-comings, the kind we ALL experience, if you are extremely hard and critical of yourself (I know I am), if you yourself don’t believe you are worthy just ‘cause, and not because of accolades and accomplishments, or how nice you are to the little old lady down the street, it will be all too easy for you to ask why people don’t just “get over it and move on”. It will be all too easy to treat a person you call “friend” like they are the gum on the bottom of your shoe when they have the nerve to be imperfectly human, or the gall to ask you to treat them with respect and care, it will be all too easy to say that what someone is experiencing is because that’s what those people experience, those “others” not people like you…

So while this particular awareness month is coming to an end, the journey to becoming more aware, more loving and compassionate towards ourselves and others continues on.

Until Next Time…Peace!

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Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

Unfinished Works I

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The Things that Get in the Way

When working on your self-love practice be aware of the things that get in the way.
A blockage to building up your own self-esteem, and the confidence to be the best of who you really are, is the way you handle other people’s success. Truly our reactions are an indicator of our own maturity and belief in ourselves.
If you’re struggling with being happy for others when they celebrate even the smallest of wins amongst the many struggles we all face in life, I encourage you to take a deeper Look Inside yourself. What’s the underlying reason behind you feeling threatened, jealous, or even conflicted?

On the otherhand…Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you don’t feel worthy? Or as worthy as the person or people you deem more worthy than yourself? I think some us of are born into a conscious effort to make us feel beneath others. The best and brightest of us understand it 1st. So because I think what I think and am convinced my thoughts are legit since the proof is in the pudding… I want to know what is the true return on investment for thoughts, feelings, and conclusions of unworthiness, and who is most benefiting from the suffering, the constant inner tug of wars of elevated self-esteem and demoralizing character assassinations based on nothing other than the fabricated truths of an outward appearance? And also Who is most benefiting from your silence?

Testing the Waters

And here I stand
Facing the certainty of an uncertain mind
Facing the shadow of a soul
Too ashamed of its reflection in the mirror
Too rejected by the standards of a power supply ever flowing
Through the fire and unmoving in the wilderness
Through a love story where retribution takes its revenge
Tales of love once had and taken for granted
Tales of unforgiving lives and dreams washed away
And here I lie
Facing a darkness inside that never dies
Facing it would mean a hopeless eternity.
Too afraid to ask for substance
Too dejected to be anyone other than a convenient past time awaiting a death sentence
Through their eyes no other worthy
Through this life bitterness resides
Tales of magic users trying to convince otherwise
Tales are only legit by the winner of wars
And here I am on the battlefield
wondering if I have what it takes to be on the outside, the truth of who I am within.
And if it is worth it in the end.

You Don’t Even Know

There was an article floating around about living because you never know how much of an impact you are being to someone else. It’s true indeed sometimes you will never know how much your smile to a stranger made them feel that someone for once saw them just for that moment and just for that moment life was ok and they would fight for the next moment and another day. I wondered how often we talk ourselves out of doing things that seemingly restart our heart beats but somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that that endeavor wasn’t worthy of our time or talents or even that we ourselves we’re enough for it. I wondered how many times our choice NOT to show up for better or worse ripple effected into missed opportunities to be someone’s shero for the moment. I say even for worse because despite our shaming culture there is ALWAYS someone keeping quiet about what they’ve done, what they’ve been through who hopes they aren’t the only one who prays they aren’t alone that they can somehow find redemption just like someone who came before them.

Everyday heroism may not be as glamorous or as fabulous or lifestyles of the rich and famous worthy. But to someone somewhere unbeknownst to yourself your existence encouraged them to save themselves with whatever bit a courage they could muster up to see themselves through a dark night that could have led to a dark thought, and a dark deed with even darker consequences. You do that by just being you.

Honest moment…I was all over the place this month! I just couldn’t seem to pull my thoughts together in one place and so this was a small collection of the many thoughts floating around in my mind.

Until Next Time…Peace!

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Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.

How to Be a Mental Wellness Advocate when you’re not a Mental Health Professional

After reevaluating our schedules Dr. Angela Clack and I decided to make Your Mental Wellness Matters a short web series rather than an ongoing show. For the last part of the series I invited my colleague Nadine Herring, who does advocacy work with Heroes in Recovery so we could share what advocacy could look like for those of us who have a passion for causes, (specifically mental health disorders and addictions recovery) but are not necessarily doctors or licenced clinicians.

Watch our final Episode below…

Click Here for the direct YouTube url to access the video.

Please SHARE with your friends and family because we offer practical insight with some practical resources you can put to use as soon as you’re finished watching.

Enjoy!

Until Next Time…Peace!

Did you enjoy reading this? Awesome! I’d like to invite you to sign up here to receive new blog posts in your inbox when they update…

Oh! By the way, if you want to learn more about the blogger of this post feel free to check out my about page.