I didn’t fully understand how “Wilderness Mentality” could be applied to so many areas in our lives. I mean, how could we finally get the courage to leave unhealthy relationships, and places that sucked our inspiration and well-being waters dry, just to look back during our struggle for the “Promised Land” and yearn to go back to the stability of the craziness we left behind?
I recently read a great article that took a deeper look into the song, and video for “We Found Love”. The concept of codependency and love addiction is very evident in the video. The lines, “when it’s over and it’s gone you almost wish you could have all that bad stuff back so you can have the good” really hit home. Nothing like the guy that held a special “umph” factor, you know the one that actually put the toilet seat down, and took care of small details no other man noticed like picking up a chocolate bar for you when Aunt Flow came to town; never mind about the constant arguments, the days you wished you could disappear, and the embarrassment you felt because you willingly took a seat at the table of your despair and convinced yourself that you deserved it!
It made me wonder if the message of this music could be applied to more than love/romance relations. For instance, do we reminisce on the good times we had at previous jobs, the stable paycheck that it came with yet push aside the fact that we cried at home because it made us so miserable? Do we let our minds wander into old memories of great childhood friends we once had, and wish to have adult relationships that simple and carefree? Yet, we forget the fact that those “good ole” friends meant more harm than good; that going along with the old saying the friends come in to your life for a reason, a season, and lifetime, and those seasonal friendships you left behind helped make you stronger, confident, and a more genuine friend to your next personal encounter? I don’t even want to get started on family pressure when it comes to striving for success…We hold on to these old norms, and inevitably hold ourselves back from our full potential.
Why do we do it to ourselves? The “Promised Land” is right there; we dream of it, we believe it’s attainable, and march towards it, heck, we even invite people into our lives to push us up the mountain, or take our hand and lead, and still, we haven’t removed the chains from our minds. We stay lost in limbo, in the wilderness.
When do we say enough is enough? “I’ve dwelt long enough at this mountain” –Battlefield of the Mind :Winning the Battle in Your Mind Devotional I want my promised land! I want my victorious life!
Even if it’s just step by step, day by day; what are you doing today to move closer to making your dreams come true?
Yes! Definitely – the past, though painful, can be nostalgic since it’s what we know best. I think about Seattle a lot. I lived there for nearly 9 months, working a minimum wage job and living with someone I hated. I didn’t like the racial homogeneity of the city (predominantly white and asian) and even though the gay culture is massive there, it’s also predominantly white gay and male.
But I still long to move back there, since it’s the first place I’ve lived on my own, working and doing stuff. Sometimes I want to give it another shot, because I have friends I still talk to there, and to eat at the same places I loved! But… Seattle isn’t the place for me! Yet I can’t stop wanting to move back!
So problematic! I can definitely relate to that part of the post.
I guess between then and now: externally, I’m not entirely happy – not working, living at home. But internally, I’m happier now than I was then, and I’m getting the chance to work on the stuff I enjoy. So.. trade off I suppose? 😀
Thanks for sharing Tatiana! I totally get you with the, “I’m not entirely happy – not working, living at home. But internally, I’m happier now than I was then, and I’m getting the chance to work on the stuff I enjoy.” pursuing my passions makes me very happy, but it sure does take a toll on you with out a full-time income and benefits 🙂 Hang in there my friend!
I find this so true. I like to call it looking at the past with rose colored glasses. We end up romanticizing everything that happened to us, and in the process gloss over all the bad parts. I think its what Tatiana said: our past is what we know best.
In order to keep myself moving forward, I try my best to recognize how far I’ve come, and relish in it. I know I have a longer journey a head of me, but everything in the past, is just that in the past. I can learn from it, but I don’t want to live in it.
Great point Kalley! The journey is long and ahead us, all we can do is grab the bull by the horns and ride, and that includes leaving the past where it needs to be, behind us. 🙂